Sound clips from Spaceballs

Scroob: Why didn’t somebody tell me my ass was so big!

Dark Helmet: How many assholes do we have on this ship anyhow?

Computer: This ship will self destruct in 20 seconds. This is your last chance to push the cancellation button.

[Playing with his dolls]
Dark Helmet: [In Dark Helmet voice] And now Princess Vespa, I have you in my clutches, to have my wicked way with you, the way I want to.
[In Vespa voice]
Dark Helmet: No, no, go away, I hate you! And yet… I find you strangely attractive.
[In D.H. voice]
Dark Helmet: Of course you do! Druish princesses are often attracted to money and power, and I have both, and you *know* it!
[In V. voice]
Dark Helmet: No, no, leave me alone!
[In D.H. voice]
Dark Helmet: No, kiss me!
Dark Helmet: No! Stop!
Dark Helmet: Yes, yes!
Dark Helmet: Oh, oh, oh! Ohhhh, your helmet is so big!

Dark Helmet: Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.

Dark Helmet: Come back here you fat bearded bitch!

first time.wav
Lone Star: At last! We meet for the first time for the last time.

Dark Helmet: Found anything yet?
Trooper: We ain’t found shit.

Colonel Sanders: Prepare ship for light speed.
Dark Helmet: No, no, no. Light speed is too slow!
Colonel Sanders: Light speed too slow?
Dark Helmet: Yes. We’re going to have to go right to…Ludicrous speed.
Colonel Sanders: Ludicrous speed? Sir, we’ve never gone that fast before…I don’t know if the ship can take it.
Dark Helmet: What’s the matter, Colonel Sanders? Chicken?

Dark Helmet: You have the ring, and I see that your schwarz is as big as mine.

Lone Star: You are ugly when you’re angry.

Colonel Sanders: Commence Operation… Vacu-suck.