The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad

Sound clips from The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad

Frank: Nice Beaver.
Jane: Thank you… I just had it stuffed.
Frank: Here…let me help you with that.

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Jane: I’ve heard police work is dangerous.
Drebin: It is. That’s why I carry a big gun.
Jane: Aren’t you afraid it might go off accidently?
Drebin: I used to have that problem.
Jane: What did you do about it?
Drebin: I just think about baseball.

Frank: It’s true what they say. Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano: Sure, it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.

Ed: That’s no way for a man to die.
Frank: No…you’re right, Ed. A parachute not opening…that’s a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine…having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that’s the way I wanna go.
Wilma: Oh….Frank. This is terrible.
Ed: Don’t you worry Wilma. Your husband is going to be alright. Don’t you worry about anything. Just think positive. Never let a doubt enter your mind.
Frank: He’s right, Wilma. But I wouldn’t wait until the last minute to fill out those organ donor cards.
Wilma: [crying]
Ed: What I’m trying to say is that Wilma, as soon as Nordburg is better, he’s welcome back at Police Squad.
Frank: Unless he’s a drooling vegetable. But I think that’s only common sense.

Frank: Nordburg…it’s me, Frank. Now who did this to you?
Nordburg: I…Love You
Frank: I love you too, Nordburg. Who were they?
Nordburg: Ship…boat
Frank: That’s right, Nordburg, a boat. Now, when you’re better we’ll go sailing together, on a boat. We’ll take a cruise just like last year.
Nordburg: drugs…
Frank: Hey Nurse. Give this man some drugs, quick…can’t you see he’s in pain? Give him a shot, quickly.
Nordburg: no…heroin…heroin, Frank…
Frank: Nordburg…that’s a pretty tall order. You’re gonna have to give me a couple a days on that one.