Liar Liar

Fletcher: Hi.
Woman: Hi.
Fletcher: New in the building?
Woman: Yea, I just moved in on Monday.
Fletcher: Ohhh, you like it so far?
Woman: Yes, everybody’s been real nice.
Fletcher: Well, that’s because you’ve got big jugs. I mean, you’re boobs are huge. I wanna squeeze them.. Ohh, ma-ma.

Jane: Hi Mr. Reede. Like the new dress?
Fletcher: Whatever takes the focus off of your head.

Guy: Yo Fletcher, how’s it hanging?
Flecther: Short, shriveled and always to the left.

Fletcher: “Here it goes…I sped, I followed too closely, I ran a stop sign, I almost hit a Chevy, I sped some more, I failed to yeild at a crosswalk, I changed lanes in the intersection, I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and speeding!

Fletcher: Where would Tina Turner be right now if she’d rolled over and said, hit me again Ike, and put some stank on it.

Fletcher: So what I’m gonna do is piss and moan like an impotent jerk and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe.

Fletcher: You slammed her! You dunked her doughnut! You gave her dog a snausage! You stuffer her like a Thanksgiving turkey!