Fight Club

Sound clips from Fight Club

Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt): Did you know if you mixed equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate, you can make napalm.
Norton’s Character: No, I did not know that. Is that true?
Tyler: That’s right, one can make all kinds of explosives using simple household items.
Norton’s Character: Really.
Tyler: If one were so inclined.

Norton’s Character: Tyler you are by far the most interesting single serving friend I have ever met. See obviously everything on a plane is single serving even the people…
Tyler: Oh, I get it, it’s very clever.
Norton’s Character: Thank you.
Tyler: How’s that working out for you?
Norton’s Character: What?
Tyler: Being clever?
Norton’s Character: Great.
Tyler: Keep it up then.

Tyler: Now a question of ettiquitte, as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?

Narrator: Bob, Bob had bitch tits.

Narrator: When deep space exploration ramps up, it’ll be the corporations that will name everything: The Ibm stellarsphere, The Microsoft galaxie, Planet Starbucks.

Narrator: Strangers with this kind of honesty make me go a big rubbery one.

Narrator: Babies don’t sleep this well.

Narrator: When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep, and you’re never really awake.

Narrator: Marla, the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal, if only you could just stop tounging it, but you can’t.

Norton’s Character: When people think you’re dying, they really listen to you instead of just…
Marla Singer (Helena Bonham Carter): Instead of just waiting for their turn to speak.

Narrator: This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.

Norton’s Character: My suitcase was vibrating?
Airport Security Officer (Robert J. Stephenson): Nine times out of ten, it’s an electric razor but, every once and a while, it’s a dildo. Of course, it’s company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinate artical A dildo, never your dildo.

Tyler: We are the byproducts of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don’t concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guys name on my underware, Rogain, Viagra, Olestra.
Norton’s Character: Martha Stewart.
Tyler: Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha’s polishing the brass on the titanic. It’s all going down man, so, fuck off with you’re sofa units, and string green stripe patterns. I say never be complete. I say stop being perfect. I say let’s evolve, let the chips fall where they may.

Tyler: The things you own end up owning you.

Tyler: I want you to do me a favor.
Norton’s Character: Yeah, sure.
Tyler: I want you to hit me as hard as you can.
Norton’s Character: What?
Tyler: I want you to hit me as hard as you can.

Norton’s Character: This is crazy, you want me to hit you.
Tyler: That’s right.
Norton’s Character: Where, like in the face?
Tyler: Surprise me.

Tyler: Motherfucker, you hit me in the ear.
Norton’s Character: Well, jesus, I’m sorry.
Tyler: Ow, christ, why the ear man?

Narrator: I don’t know how Tyler found that house, but he said he’d been there for a year. It looked like it was waiting to be torn down. Most of the windows had been boarded up. There was no lock on the front door from when the police or whoever kicked it in. The stairs were ready to collapse. I didn’t know if he owned it or he was squatting, neither would have surprisde me.

Norton’s Character: Listen to this, it’s an article written by an organ in the first person. I am Jack’s medula oblongotta, without me Jack could not regulate his heart rate, blood pressure, or breathing. There’s a whole series of these: I am Jill’s nipples, I am Jack’s colan…
Tyler: Yeah, I get cancer, I kill Jack. [crashes into doorjam with bicycle]

Norton’s Character: You can swallow a pint of blood before you get sick.

Tyler: The first rule of fight club is, you do not talk about fight club. The second rule of fight club is, you do not talk about fight club. The third rule of fight club, someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. The fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. The fifth rule: only one fight at a time fellas. The sixth rule: no shirts, no shoes. The seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: If this is your first night at fight club, you have to fight.

Narrator: Even if I could tell someone they had a good fight, I wouldn’t be talking to the same man. Who you were in fight club was not who you were in the rest of the world.

Narrator: A guy came to fight club for the first time, his ass was a wad of cookie dough. After a few weeks, he was carved out of wood.

Norton’s Character: If you could fight any celebrity, who would you fight?
Tyler: alive or dead?
Norton’s Character: Doesn’t matter. Who’d be tough?
Tyler: Hemingway. You?
Norton’s Character: Shatner, I’d fight William Shatner.

Tyler: Ok, any historical figure?
Norton’s Character: I’d fight Ghandi.
Tyler: Good answer.
Norton’s Character: How about you?
Tyler: Lincoln.
Norton’s Character: Lincoln?
Tyler: Mm hmm.

Tyler: [laughing] You got some fucked up friends, I’m telling you. Limber though.

Tyler: And the shit that came out of this woman’s mouth, I ain’t never heard.
Marla: My god, I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.

Tyler: Now listen, I can’t have you talking to her about me.
Norton’s Character: Why would I talk to her…
Tyler: You say anything about me or what goes on in this house to her or anybody, we’re done. Now promise me.
Norton’s Character: Ok.
Tyler: You promise?
Norton’s Character: Yeah, I promise.
Tyler: Promise.
Norton’s Character: I just said, I promise.
Tyler: That’s three times you promised.

Tyler: Fuck damnation man, fuck redemption, we are God’s unwanted children, so be it.

Tyler: It’s only after we’ve lost everything, that we are free to do anything.

Narrator: It was beautiful, we were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them.

Robert “Bob” Paulson (Meatloaf Aday): Have you heard about the guy that invented this thing?
Norton’s Character: Well, yeah, actually I uh…
Bob: I hear all kinds of things.
Norton’s Character: Yeah.
Bob: Supposedly he was born in a mental institution, and he sleeps only one hour a night. He’s a great man, do you know about Tyler Durden?

Tyler: I look around, I look around, I see a lot of new faces. (crowd laughing) Shut up. which means a lot of you have been breaking the first two rules of fight club.

Tyler: I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. Goddamnit, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables, and slaves with white collars.

Tyler: Advertising has it’s taste in cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need.

Tyler: We are the middle children of history man, no purpose or place. We have no great war, no great depression. Our great war is a spiritual one, our great depression is our lives.

Tyler: We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionairs, and movie gods, and rock stars, but we won’t, and we’re slowly learning that fact, and we’re very very pissed off.

Tyler: You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank, you’re not the car you drive, you’re not the contents of your wallet, you’re not your fucking khackis. You are the all singing, all dancing, crap of the world.

Tyler: Listen up magots, you are not special, you are not a beautiful or a unique snowflake, you are the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
Narrator: Tyler built himself an army.
Tyler: We are the all singing, all dancing, crap of the world. We are all part of the same compost heap.

Tyler: Hi, you’re gonna call off your rigorous investigation. You’re gonna publically state that there is no underground terrorist group, or, these guys are gonna take your balls. Their gonna send one to the LA Times, one to the New York Times, press release style. Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on: we cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances, we guard you while you sleep. Do not fuck with us.

Tyler: Hitting bottom isn’t a weakend retreat. It’a not a goddamn seminar. Stop trying to control everything, and just let go.

Tyler: [laughing] We just had a near life experiance.

Proprietor of Dry Cleaners (Christopher John Fields): I’m not exposed to speak any such information to you, nor would I even if I had said information you want, at this juncture be able.
Norton’s Character: You’re a moron.
Proprietor of Dry Cleaners: I’m afraid I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.

Narrator: I was living in a state of perpetual deja vu. Everywhere I went, I felt I’d already been there. It was like following an invisible man.

Bartender in Halo (Michael Shamus Wiles): Welcome back sir, how have you been?
Norton’s Character: Do you know me?
Bartender in Halo: Is this a test sir?
Norton’s Character: No, this is not a test.
Bartender in Halo: You were in here last thursday.
Norton’s Character: Thursday?
Bartender in Halo: You were standing exactly where you are now, asking how tight security was. It’s tight as a drum sir.
Norton’s Character: Who do you think I am?
Bartender in Halo: Are you sure this isn’t a test?
Norton’s Character: No, this is not a test.
Bartender in Halo: You’re Mr. Durden, you’re the one who gave me this.
Narrator: Please return your seat backs to their full upright and locked positions.

Norton’s Character: Just answer the question Marla, did we do it or not?
Marla: You fuck me, then snub me, you love me, you hate me, you show me a sensative side, then you turn into a total asshole. Is that a pretty accurate description of our relationship Tyler?
Narrator: We have just lost cabin pressure.
Norton’s Character: What’d you just say?
Marla: What is wrong with you?
Norton’s Character: What’d you just call me? Say my name.
Marla: Tyler Durden, Tyler Durden, you fucking freak, what’s going on?

Narrator: We have just lost cabin pressure.

Tyler: You were looking for a way to change your life. You could not do this on your own. All the ways you wish you could be, that’s me. I look like you want to look, I fuck like you want to fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.

Tyler: People do it everyday: they talk to themselves, they see themselves as they’d like to be, but they don’t have the courage that you have to just run with it.

Norton’s Character: This is bullshit, I’m not listening to this, you are insane.
Tyler: No, you are insane, and we simply do not have time for this crap.

Marla: I’ll have the clam chowder, the fried chicken wih the baked potato with everything, and a chocolate chiffon pie.
Norton’s Character: Clean food please.
Food Court Matre d’: In that case, I would advise against the lady having the clam chowder.
Norton’s Character: No clam chowder thank you.

Marla: I’m not paying this back, I consider it asshole tax.

Marla: Tyler, you’re the worst thing that ever happened to me.

Norton’s Character: You met me at a very strange time in my life.