Sound clips from Dragnet
beaver.wav
Joe Friday: You certainly have a beautiful home Mrs. Swail.
Pep: You bet, can the beaver come out and play.
cutlery.wav
Joe Friday: Now, let me tell you something, Streebeck. There are two things which clearly differentiate the human species from animals. One, we use cutlery. Two, we’re capable of controlling our sexual urges. Now you might be an exception, but don’t drag me down into your private hell.
heart.wav
Enid: I should’ve thrown it all in the river the day he left, but unlike some people, I have a heart, goddamnit!
laughing.wav
Joe Friday: Yeah, well just go ahead and chuckle away, mister. I don’t hear God laughing.
Pep: You will, once he sees your haircut.
pencil dick.wav
Enid: Bout time you pencildicks showed up!
puke.wav
Enid: That miserable little bag of puke!
slimey.wav
Enid: There’s nothing you can do about it, you slimey little jizz bucket!
underwear.wav
Blonde Woman Police Officer: Bye Pep. Will you be coming over later?
Pep: Oh yeah, I have to.
Blonde Woman Police Officer: Oh?
Pep: I’m wearing your underwear.
useless.wav
Enid: Useless scum-lapping shitbag!
vibrator.wav
Woman on intercom: Oh, thank God. Vibrator repair.
Joe Friday: No ma’am, Los Angeles Police Department. Sorry.
virgin.wav
Joe Friday: Prepare the virgin? I don’t like the sound of that.
Pep: Let’s just hope they’re not referring to you.