Sound clips from Clerks
37.wav
Dante: 37, my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks.
Randal: In a row?
balls.wav
Dante: Hey are there any balls down there?
Jay: About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry.
berserker.wav
Olaf: My love for you is ticking clock, Berserker. Would you like to suck my cock, Berserker.
Jay: That’s beautiful man.
casket.wav
Dante: You knocked the casket over, for Christ sake!
Randal: I was just leaning on it, it was an accident.
Dante: Like someone knocks a casket over on purpose.
Randal: So the casket fell over, big deal.
Dante: Her fuckin’ body fell out!
Randal: I put her back in it, it’s not like it matters if she breaks something.
customers.wav
Randal: This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers.
empire.wav
Randal: Which did you like better, Jedi or Empire Strikes Back?
Dante: Empire.
Randal: Blasphemy
grandma.wav
Jay: Shit, my grandma used to say, What’s better, fuckin, a good plate with nothin’ on it… No wait, I fucked up. What’s a good plate with nothin’ on it?
Dante: Meaning?
Jay: I don’t know, she was senile and shit, she used to fucking piss herself all the time.
grizzly.wav
Jay: What you want Grizzly Adams?
jipjoint.wav
Jay: Come on Silent Bob, let’s get the fuck out of this fucking jip joint. With this fucking faggot Dante, you cock smoker.
jizmopper.wav
Randal: You know how much money the average jiz-mopper makes per hour?
liar.wav
Customer: Are you calling me a liar?
love.wav
Randal: No time for love Dr. Jones.
noteven.wav
Dante: I’m not even supposed to be here today.
parkinglot.wav
Dante: Hey try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot. Hey you, get back here.
shortcommings.wav
Randal: There’s nothing more exlirating that pointing out the shortcommings of others, is there?